One of my "directions to self" lately has been to be less fussy, less exacting, and yes, less bossy with my creative self. My experience tells me that we all have a tendency to get bossy with our creative selves, we all have certain areas where our perfectionist persona comes on strong with that mean crabby voice, and further experience tells me that this tendency definitely gets in the way of creating.
So, why let that voice rule? If we could all go back to kindergarten, and be 4 or 5 again, would we remember hearing that critical voice? I certainly don't. I have memories of rolls of butcher paper spread out all over the floor, and heaps of crayons and pencils and paints and markers, and a pack of 5 year olds going to town with colour and shapes, and laughter. I remember drawing my own version of a pony (it was purple & green) and was asked what it was, and when I said "my pony", the response was "oh, of course."
By first grade we have already started to learn the fine art of criticizing others, and, of course, self-criticism, and as time passes by that bossy, critical voice can become deafening: when we level it at ourselves, or at others. How to create in the face of all that internal head noise?
My newest recipe for a more free and joyful creative process: choose some colours my soul is loving, quickly sketch some images that are equally fulfilling to my eye, pull some bits of ephemera and papers, and go! Go quickly. Keep moving, keep pulling out colour, keep smiling, (dancing to some Jill Scott, or whatever makes your body move, definitely helps), and when you start to hear that voice, saying things like: "you really shouldn't have used that bronze colour as a ground", or "what were you thinking trying to get the paint to show on top of the photo of columns, it looks like crap", the response is: "Shut up right now, I am creating, I'll deal with you later." And shut up she did.
Just goes to show that I am really not so far away from that 5 year old little girl, I just need to remember to tell the Perfectionist, Joy-Kill Persona that seems to want to run the show, to shut the hell up and step out of my way. And I have to tell you, it feels Great!