My word for 2010 came to me in early December while I was watching Julie and Julia. It's a movie that I had wanted to see, but it completely captured me in a way I was not expecting. Anyone who truly knows me knows that I am not a cook, the making of food is about filling an empty belly, nothing more. The fewer dishes and pans used, the better, less time spent cleaning up. So, the cooking was not the thing that got me, it was the story of a woman (Julia) who finds her gift, and in the best and most powerful sense of the phrase: Goes for it.
I have now spent almost a month trying to push this word aside and come up with another one. Part of me wanted a word that was more cozy, more comfy, less of a challenge, and easier to hold in my two hands.
I've now come to realise that when a word wants you, it will not sit around and watch while you wish for it to wander away - kind of a like a really good friend who always tells you the truth. No matter what. It follows me around, like a balloon sticking to my static-y winter hair, or a pesky younger sibling always wanting to play, or maybe a dog who jumps up and runs to the door, every time I take a step.
My word for 2010 is... Passion.
I think that I have tried hard to find another word because there is something about choosing this particular word that will see me through the year that feels a little like ripping off a band aid... no actually a better image might be the first strip pulled whilst experiencing a bikini wax. YOW, okay, definitely felt that. And I wonder, on a more deeply felt level, will I be able to live up to my word?
It is another layer pulled off in the process of my own growth, my own journey to wherever it is I am going, and my own experience of experiencing my world. Truthfully, it feels a little unwieldy and large, and when it sits in my lap, it's all elbows and heavy thighs. But here is what I wrote after watching that movie twice:
... it made this idea of passion for something in my own life come even more fully alive for me. Passion for one's life, passion for my own life, and i knew this was my word for 2010. Instilling passion, feeling passion - in all facets of my life - bringing passion to all the little and medium and large things I think and do. Spending time with the things that I am passionate about, and defining: what are the things that fill my dark spots with light, what are the things that make me smile and say Yes, what fills me up from the inside out...
And so I enter 2010, wearing my heart a little bit higher on my sleeve, and here comes Passion.