Athena Dreams Design

A New Moment on an Ordinary Wednesday Morning

On a wednesday morning, early in the studio, I take a look around to see what my world is made up of these days. I notice many things in process, unfinished, being contemplated, in flux, in planning stages, sketches. 

And instead of seeing things not done, not finished, I am trying on some new eyes, just for size, and looking at all these pieces as possibilities, things that will be, ideas that are being born.

It is all a matter of perspective I think, all a matter of looking at the positive, at the process, the flow.

Twyla Tharp in her book The Creative Habit talks about ritual, pattern and repetitive memory to tame and quiet the fears and the self-doubts and the ugly, awful voices in [my] head. And so this is a change in ritual for me. To see the unfinished as potential instead of seeing it as things I have not finished, plans I have fallen short of, ideas that have not bloomed with the fruition I had hoped for, projects that have [gulp] failed.

"When you have selected the environment that works for you, developed the start-up ritual that impels you forward every day, face down your fears, and put your distractions in their proper place, you have cleared the first hurdle. You have begun to prepare to begin." -Twyla Tharp

And so, I begin with developing a new Start the Day Ritual: looking at what is ready to burst forth, what is wanting to lay still, and thus, prepare to begin, and see my days, my work, and my life with these new eyes of mine: looking for the positives, stepping up to take my place at my painting table and begin this new day, this new ritual of creation.

Wish me luck, as I wander down this new and alternate path, with a new faith and these brand new eyes with which to see: the water feels great over here, and I am jumping in.

Finding My Conundrum

It has now been 3 weeks since making some changes in my life, in my work, and in my schedule, and Ifind I am wandering around, wondering what I should be doing. I have all this time to paint, and now, wander away from my painting table.

It's a funny thing, making positive changes, and putting them into practice, and then, finding myself at a loss as to why I am still not on a crazy work/create/life schedule like I have been for the last 10 years. The peace makes me feel antsy, not relaxed, not creative, not focused. The quiet, well it does the same thing.

I have cleaned, I have purged, I have lined up ideas and sketches, and I just wander in and wander right back out. Can't force the moment, I tell myself. Can't force myself to focus on the painting, it's a conundrum.

Aah, a conundrum. Such a funny word, it makes me think of when I was a little kid: my brothers and sister and I spent lots and lots of time (in fact, as much as we could) with my grandparents. My grandfather was a cabinet maker/woodworker on weekends and holidays as he used to say, and we always begged to be able to be his assistants in his wood shop. There were rules, rules that were strictly enforced. You had to be a certain height to come within 3 feet of the table saw, and your hands had to be a certain size to turn the handle of the big clamp he used to hold 2 pieces that were gluing, and so on and so on. The important rule though, was a new word.

We had to learn the meaning and spelling of one, long, multi-syllabic word each time we were shop assistants. [I realise even now that there are quite a few words I might never have been acquiainted with if it had not been for this rule] On one occasion it was the word Conundrum:

[kuh-nuhn-druhm] 

–noun

1.	a riddle, the answer to which involves a pun or play on words, as What is black and white and read all over? A newspaper.

2.	anything that puzzles.

Gramp's conumdrum was: Do you walk to school or carry a lunch? We spent days, weeks even, trying to figure out what the riddle was, what we were missing, what the trick was. And when I went back to him weeks or months later to tell him we had not figured out the riddle in his conundrum, he laughed and hugged me and told me that that was mostly how life went. It takes awhile to find the riddle, and occasionally there is nothing to find, but we keep looking.

So, these days, a bit of a conundrum, where I am not sure whether I walk to school or carry a a lunch, but things are turning, moving, rearranging molecules are settling, and something new will arrive any day now. In the meanwhile I am wandering a curvy path, thinking curvy thoughts, and readjusting to a new schedule in this conundrum of life.

A Day to Remember

Today is my grandmother's birthday. She hasn't been here with us for a long long time, but I think of her almost everyday, and most especially on her birthday, On my list of people who have inspired, influenced, encouraged and even dared me, she is at the top.

An artist, an inspired gardener, a writer, a reader, and a woman beyond her time. She was not encouraged to be independent, not encouraged to be an artist, or a traveller, she was encouraged to marry and have children, because that's what women did in her era. And she did that, and also painted, and designed gardens and organised reading groups with her friends, and lived a life that on the outside had little in the way of frills or accessories; but on the inside was rich with beauty and ideas, and deep thoughts.

 

on her honeymoon

As my grandmother though, she told me at a very early age that I could do anything, be anything, have and be a part of anything that I wanted to be. She told me I was special and unique. She encouraged my dreams and my hopes and my wishes for my life. She encouraged my independence and my sense of self. In effect, she gave me permission to be myself all the time, in a world where conformity is the safe and easy route. 

 

with mum and uncle Johnny

My relationship with her was like an open door: it was like walking to and fro from room to room, while in the midst of a never ending conversation, punctuated with other characters entering and leaving, kind of like a one act play, that just keeps going and going. I think of her as my first role model for a generosity of spirit that I since have always looked for in friends, in business partners, in romantic partners, in life. And I think that if I had not had her my whole young life, I might never have known that that kind of spirit existed out in the world. Because truthfully, as we go through school, through jobs, through relationships, as we grow and change and move through our lives, those kindred souls, those open spirits, filled with kindness and generosity and support, and the purest kind of love and devotion, do not come along around any old corner. They are the rare and most gorgeous jewels in our lives, and we are always the luckiest for having found them, or for they having found us.

 

I like to think that she found me, that is still my young girl's daydream, I like to imagine that the first day she saw me, she knew who I was, she recognized me, and I her. I like to imagine she was my fairy godmother, not necessarily finding me the prince, but definitely turning my pumpkin into a carriage, and the mice into horses to take me anywhere I wanted to go.

 

She loved her life, though she did not get to live out many of her dreams, but she always said she got to live may of them through me. I still hear her voice in my head, her energy still vibrates in the universe, and she is still encouraging, me, inspiring me and daring me to do more, and ever more.

Happy Birthday to my best and most wonderful jewel, to the rarest gem I have ever known, my grandmother.

Getting More Focused

How time passes when things are in flux... I have made a few changes in my life recently that will allow me to spend more time on my artwork and my own design, rather than designing for others, and the lead up to the changes seems to have been more time consuming and more tiring than I would ever have thought. 

So, there's a month gone by, it's almost officially Summer, and tho I made these changes to allow me more time to paint, it seems all my time has been taken up with cleaning, and purging, and cleaning, and giving away, and filing and basically taking care of all the things that I never have time to do... the drekky stuff, but the stuff that keeps my life organised and running smoothly (at least I tell myself this). 

I also just want to say a very big Thanks to everyone who has stopped by my little Etsy shop and looked around, I so very much appreciate it. 

And so on to the good, rich, gorgeous stuff: creating! More coming soon!

Be Ready for an Invitation to Travel . . .

I was lucky enough to be able to work in my studio All the weekend long. Sure, the kitchen floor still needs mopping, and the garden is looking very neglected, and the weather was beautiful, but I stepped outside to stand in the sun, and let the garden know I would get to the weeding and clean up soon.

This is the second painting in a short series of paintings that I am working on that are all loosely woven around the topic of Greece. I lived there for a few years in my early 20s, and have a wonderful and deep connection to the land, and the culture, the language, and the art, and have wanted for a long long time to express some of that love on canvas, so I am on my way.

In this instance, I am combining the Greek theme with another . . . Fortunes from Chinese Fortune cookies. I have a very very large collection of fortunes that are wonderful, whimsical and heart-ful (amassed over years of friends collecting their best fortunes for me), and I always thought doing a series of paintings around the fortunes would be cool. Somehow, the 2 cultures have meshed for now . . . I'll just have to see where it takes me.

I also very very quietly put 2 prints in the Etsy shop that I opened nearly 8 months ago, and then just left alone. I also, very quietly, but a little pink button on the left over there, that merely says buy things at Etsy, but links to my "shop". I feel so very self conscious - kind of like being 13 again, and I have pimple, and am trying to hide it with my hair hanging in my face - saying, yeah, I've got this little shop, and it will eventually have more prints and cards as well... but there it is.

For any of you who are Etsy experienced (unlike me), how do you make those lovely icons showing a few things in your etsy shop that I see on so many of your blogs?

New Eyes .:. New Perspectives

Sometimes it just takes sitting in a different chair at the kitchen table and drinking my morning cup of tea (or coffee). Sometimes it is just standing in a different spot to look at the hills just west of our house, to see the colours that have been there all week. Sometimes just being able to see the same things in a new way only takes stepping around and over the old perspective, tilting the head, maybe a little squint to create a nice blur, and suddenly, I have new eyes.

That, and painting, reading, listening - all day in my studio. No breaks to do the things I really "should". No distracting myself with other "stuff". I feel more complete, I feel more at peace inside, I feel more positive and I feel like I have more energy. Now, the real test is: how do I get myself to remember that the act of creating is what renews and energizes me, pulls me out of the doldrums, cleans the cobwebs out of my head. That is the hard part for me, I let myself forget what I really need.

I had several beautiful reminders this week, and want to pass them along to anyone who is interested:

This wonderful podcast from Marisa at Creative Thursday. A wonderfully candid and generous talk about making money as an artist, the risks, the perils and the joys and how it all came together for this artist.

This beautiful post about giving ourselves the gift of time to create.

This moment with an artist and her cello.

New artwork and exciting news about a forthcoming book from this artist.

This honest and heartfelt series of posts from one artist's perspective of the Artfest experience.

Spending more time reading instead of watching movies: I am really loving all of these reads just now...

And the painting, and working on a canvas instead of a monitor...

is pure joy. After days, and truth be told, weeks of feeling stuck and tired and completely uninterested in my own artwork, my own creativity, and then, just a small shift in perspective (very much helped by the list above) and the metaphorical faucet is opened.

The central piece on this canvas board is a photo I took of my sister (standing) when she was about 10 or 11, and I was 15 or 16, on a beautiful summers day at Cranes Beach, looking for shells and the ever elusive blue sea glass, and I remember the thrill of learning and mastering my grandfather's old Leica SLR, printing this photo in the darkroom and feeling so completely happy and compelled to keep creating more, every free moment I had. That is the perspective from which I want to live, from which I want to experience this life, this moment.

Calling all Altars

Some altars from around Flickr.

I've always had a fascination with personal altars or shrines. The altars that people create for any number of reasons or purposes: for prayer, for remembrance, for growth, for change, for beauty, for collecting precious items, for anything.

If anyone has a personal altar or personal "sacred space" or special spot to share, I would love to see photos of it. E-mail or by comments.

A Few Notes to Self .:. sacred life

"In the end there is no one ideal condition for creativity . . . The only criterion is this: Make it easy on yourself . . . To get the creative habit, you need a working environment that's habit formng." - Twyla Tharp from The Creative Habit

Note to Self #1: "All preferred working states, no matter how eccentric, have one thing in common: When you enter into them, they impel you to get started." -Twyla Tharp

This weekend I took the advice of a very wise and experienced creative woman, and re-configured my work top spaces to make my studio more functional, more inspiring and more the place I want to be all the time.

Part of my on-going work towards this, is to clean up more, pick up and put away more, find more workable storage containers for those tools I use all the time, but in the meanwhile, I have a more usable space, with more of the work surfaces I need to get me motivated and jazzed about creating.

Note to Self #2: Just Do

So much of our every day work-a-day, live-a-day lives are about deadlines, about choosing harmony over what we really want; our time is more often about checking things off that never ending to-do list, and less about creating a time and space to just create. So to choose a moment - whether it is 20 minutes or 3 days or a month and a half - to just be our most true self, to just do those things that make our souls vibrate with joy, to remember who we truly are, deep down, underneath all the things we do for the work-a-day, live-a-day to do lists.

This weekend I chose my moment, and the re-energized soul, she is singing, with joy and peace, and gratitude for giving her the one true thing she wants: a space to create and the time to do it.

Hope all your sundays are full of sacred creating, in whatever form that may be.

Celebrating Spring

Spring arrives: open windows, fresh breezes blowing through the house, and the age old urge to clean the dust and detritus that has accumulated all winter long. I always turn first to the windowsills. Take everything off, wash down the sill, wash the windows and replace with new treasures to gaze at while washing dishes (kitchen windowsill), painting (studio windowsill), reading (bedroom and living room and other kitchen windowsill).

And so I had to collect a few favourite windowsills from Flickr, to celebrate the windowsill moment of the year. Oh welcome, welcome, beautiful spring!

Paste Up 2008

I finished a new piece (At Home in the Sky) and got my submission together for Paste Up this week - just in the nick of time. It felt so wonderfully, how shall I say, pro-active, to finish some things and send off a package for the possibility of being included in a show.

I haven't submitted any work in a while. The act of creating .:. in my little room, with my music and my thoughts and my sketches and my dreams .:. is so very intimate, such a huge part of my life on this earth, and then to share these pieces with a larger world - sometimes it's terrifying, sometimes liberating, always a lesson to be learned in the experience.

So, here's to the first submission of work in this new Year of Great, and new, and to this Joyful Experience of life.