Athena Dreams Design

A Start to Re-Defining Success

I've been thinking a lot these past months about success. I've spent time with friends in conversation about success and what it means to us. How we define it as a culture. How I define it for myself. How the idea of success can creep in and change a moment, and how we all have our own measuring stick for what success is for us.

This past weekend I went to a Battle of the Bands at a local high school with my husband. One of his private music students was in one of the bands playing. There were some great bands, and there were also some nervous kids and some false starts and some out notes, but overall it was a truly great night. I sat there in the audience listening to each band play there 3 or 4 songs: some covers, mixed in with some originals and I felt gratitude.

I felt gratitude to each and every one of the kids that got up there to share their gifts, their passion, their excitement and their hopes of winning because it reminded me that I am on this path to do the same; to share with others what drives me to create, and keep creating. It's the winning that I sometimes trip over, the idea that in the process of working towards a creative goal there may be a winner and there may be a loser.

And I might be the loser.

I might not get into a show in a gallery I've always wanted to show at, one of my illustrations might not get picked for the poster that I was competing for, my design work might not get accepted by a publisher that I so hoped to work with, and etc.

Watching those kids jump around on stage, playing music together, having fun and sharing their hearts, I thought: wow, this is success. It's the trying for something and following through. Win or lose. Good or bad.

For me personally, I am looking at re-defining what success is, and that doesn't necessarrily include huge licensing deals or a solo show in a big gallery. It does, however, mean trying for something and following through. Would I turn down a big show or a great deal? Of course not, I'm not crazy. If I don't get either does that make me a failure? Not even close.

Every day I get up and try for something, even if it's just settling down the ugly voices in my head, or cleaning my studio because I can't find my favourite drawing pencil. Each day I get up and think about the projects I have on the table or on the computer monitor or on the easel and I'm excited to dive in and solve a problem or finish up a project that's just about there and make notes on the new ideas I gather during the creative process.

Every day I show up in my own life, on my own creative path and I create, and I've made my living this way for a lot of years now. So the beginnings of my own personal redefinition of success equals going for something and following through.

My husband's student's band rocked that high school auditorium and had people up on their feet yelling and clapping and waving lit up cell phones in time with the beat. The crowd was yelling encore encore as they finished their last song.

They didn't win.

Were they successful? Damn straight they were.

And What About Pinterest . . .

I accepted an invite from Pinterest sometime in its beta stage and didn’t really do anything with it until well into 2011, and at that point I fell. And fell hard. A dream, a hope that I never knew I had, was being answered: a place that I could keep track of favourite artists, favourite words, colours, design ideas, really anything and everything on the internet that inspired, provoked, healed, blossomed, and cultivated any kind of feeling inside of me . . . and yet, there are also some feeling of unease.

Join me over at Scoutie Girl today, where we're talking about Pinterest.

At Work on Ideas: pinterest-ing pins

Seeing sketches in mid-creation, or drawing tables filled with the tools of a craft, journals being worked on and creativity in session always gives me a thrill. I love to get glimpses of how others work, aspects of the processes that other people use, a peek into someone else's world.

(clockwise from top left):
journals on Wild Thyme Creative {pinned by Theresa L.}
A Canvas for Creativity by Lucrecer Braxton (found via Liz Lamoreux}
Journaling 101 by Chookooloonks {pinned by Trish W.}
Pen & Ink by Nicola Hensel {found via Pia Jane Bijkerk}
Sketches by Emerson Made (pinned by me}

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Each week a different topic illustrated with some of my favourite images from Pinterest.

If you are a Pinterest user, pinning on pinterest please remember to "Link with Love" and credit the maker, the creator, the ideator, or the originator.

If you'd like to share on Pinterest you can find me here!

Testing the Temperature

This morning I got up and when I let the cat out, the thermometer outside the back door told me it was 32. Yeah, 32F. And just so we're all clear, this was not an early rising kind of day, it was 8:15am. I decided it was a good test. I'm leaving for New York early tomorrow morning, and I'm told it's much much colder there right now at the same hour of the morning. So test things I would: I put my walking clothes on and went out for a walk.

And came right back in.

I need a hat. I need mittens. I need things for my neck, and other things to stop any and all drafts from creeping up my back or down my legs. Putting on socks, a t-shirt, yoga pants and a heavy sweater on top was just not going to do it.

So it got me thinking about testing and temperature, and decisions: You know how when you decide to make a radical change in your status quo, or take a stand for yourself in a situation that has been troubling you, or just rearrange the living room furniture after a few years, and all the little creepy crawlies, bugaboos, and other annoying creatures of doubt and unease and uncertainty come out to harangue you?

Well, what if we "dressed" for a change we are planning?
What if we planned for the cold? or the heat?
What if we welcomed a change in temperature and because we were ready for it, it was all smooth sailing?

I've got my hat on, and all other important surfaces are covered by warm cozy things, and back out I go. It's 9:07 and it's now a balmy 33, and I'm ready to walk. Tomorrow, I'll deal with the real cold, today is a test.

One Dream House, or another

Do any of you have dreams that happen in the same house? I mean, different dreams, at different times, but when you enter your dream, you realise that you've been in this house before, that other dreams have occurred here?

I had a dream last night in my "new" house, and when I woke up at at about 5 to the sound of the garbage truck, I made a slightly conscious mental note to remember that I remembered that I had a new dream house, before I fell back to sleep.

When I got up a little bit later this morning, I thought "oh that was cool", and started doing a walk through in my head of the house. It has lots of glass, and has a room for everything that I love. There is a painting studio, a recording studio, 3 living rooms, a big kitchen, a library, many bedrooms, lots of gardens and a lake to swim in.

In my dreams, the house is always slightly different: more furniture, less furniture, art on the walls, bare walls, people, no people, daylight, nighttime, and there is usually some action going on, some problem to solve, some issue to work out. It is, afterall, not so much a Dream House, as a house I go to in my dreams.

One of the things that I find so interesting—if we follow the psychology that this house is ME—is that it is a relatively "new" house in my dreams. I think it's been a go-to-dream-house for maybe 7 or 8 years. Hard to calculate in dream time. I have another house, one that I dream about less and less, but it still pops up, and it's the house I've had dreams inside of since I was a little girl.

It's an old house, full of stairways, and turrets, and windowseats, and rooms that are slightly tippy. It's familiar, and cozy, and whenever I show up at it in one of my dreams, there is a feeling of connection to past times, to many moments, to many people. This older dream house, has small rooms, and you have to walk through one room to get to the next, not a lot of hallways. In some rooms the ceilings are low, in others they are high, and in a very Alice in Wonderland kind of way, the rooms are never quite the same every time.

So it's taken me a while, but now that I've recognised that there has been a second house I dream inside and it's been around for a quite a few years, I'm thinking: wow what else is happening while I'm asleep. No, seriously... I find it intriguing and mysterious and ever so interesting... 2 Dream Houses in one sleeping mind. And will the old rambling funky house stick around, or will I eventuallly move completely into the house with lots of windows. All things to ask of the sleeping mind.

Finding my Pocket

 

My husband is a bass player, and I hear him talk about many things musical, but mostly he talks about all things as a variation on a groove.
He wants to find it.
He wants to create it.
He wants to move it.
He wants to feel it.
He wants to build on it.

And he also wants a pocket.
And he wants to sit in that pocket. A lot.

When he's performing I usually know when he has settled himself down in that pocket, he gets a big 6-year-old goofy grin on his face, and often times so does the drummer he's playing with.

It's funny but after a lot of years of listening to him talk about this stuff, I am not exactly sure what his definition of the pocket is. I (of course) have my own interpretations:

One of them is: I imagine the pocket to be like getting the perfect rhythm going on a see saw. Both people are about the same size, and neither is into dropping the other one, and neither wants to throw off the balance or end the fun while it's happening.

I am thinking this morning about how I find my pocket. Or pockets. I am thinking about variations on a groove, and I would like to sit in some pockets too. So where do I find a pocket outside of musical references:

• somewhere comfy and happy
• somewhere easy and effortless
• where ideas and energy are able to sustain
• where there is a give and a take
• where I can feel the moment in my mind and my body
• where the energy and dynamics are constantly reworked and recycled and reused and remade

I know I can create a groove on my own, but can I find a pocket on my own, or is more than one person needed to stitch that together? Are you looking for your pocket?

When Work is Play

I love this photo for so many different reasons, but mostly because there is my 20-something mother working the childcare on a tricycle playing with her kids. One of my brothers had been riding on the back of my trike and fell off, (tho the finger to my mouth in the universal sign for oops, and his body language is telling me there might be more to the story).

Work is work and play is play. Or is it really like that? Do the two need to be in opposition to each other? I don't think I ever thought they needed to be, and yet I've never consciously teamed the two together, especially when it comes to looking for work. Work is serious. Work is about being "professional". And play, well, play is play.

Last week I was challenged to think about work as play, specifically to approach looking for more freelance work as I would approach a playground.

For me, play is about spontaneity, it's about imagination, it often features play"mates" and its about fun and exchange and movement. There is a dynamic to play that is all about energy and letting the moment go where it will. Now that's a new and different way to approach looking for clients, and surprise surprise, it actually makes me feel excited about the process.

Look at all the definitions of Play (as a noun):

1. a dramatic composition or piece; drama.
2. a dramatic performance, as on the stage.
3. exercise or activity for amusement or recreation.
4. fun or jest, as opposed to seriousness: I said it merely in play.
5. a pun.
6. the playing, action, or conduct of a game: The pitcher was replaced in the fourth inning of play.
7. the manner or style of playing or of doing something: We admired his fine play throughout the game.
8. an act or instance of playing or of doing something: a stupid play that cost us the match.
9. one's turn to play: Whose play is it?
10. a playing for stakes; gambling.
11. an attempt to accomplish something, often in a manner showing craft or calculation; maneuver: They tried to buy up the stock in a takeover play.
12. an enterprise or venture; deal: an oil and drilling play.
13. action, conduct, or dealing of a specified kind: fair play; foul play.
14. action, activity, or operation: the play of fancy.
15. brisk, light, or changing movement or action: a fountain with a leaping play of water.
16. elusive change or movement, as of light or colors: the play of a searchlight against the night sky.
17. a space in which something, as a part of a mechanism, can move.
18. freedom of movement within a space, as of a part of a mechanism.
19. freedom for action, or scope for activity: full play of the mind.
20. attention in the press or other media; coverage; dissemination as news: The birth of the panda got a big play in the papers.
21. an act or instance of being broadcast: The governor's speech got two plays on our local station.

Each one of these definitions broadens my understanding of play as work, but look at #18:
Freedom of movement within a space, as part of a mechanism.

#16 is doing something for me as well: elusive change or movement, as of light or colors.

So what's your favourite definition of play?
Do you integrate play into your work? In your search for work?

 

So What Am I Waiting For?

 

Do you ever ask yourself that same question? Do you ever find that you are waiting for your moment, though you might not know exactly what it will look like or feel like, nevertheless you hope it’s on the way, and so you wait for it? And wait some more? Do you find yourself waiting for approval from a teacher or mentor, or from your peers, waiting for the nod that says NOW, you’re ready?

To read more, join me over on Scoutie Girl.

The Journey and the Destination

“The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.” –Don Williams, Jr. (American Novelist and Poet)

“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” –Greg Anderson (American Author and founder of the American Wellness Project)

I like parts of both these sentiments. Doesn’t it feel like they were born out of our modern rush to “get” somewhere, even when we don’t know quite where we’re going?

Read the rest of my post over at Gypsy Girl's Guide

Home Again, Home Again

You arrive to the woods, to the lake, to happy voices down on a dock and quiet pine needle strewn paths and old friends that you may not have seen since last year at this time, and to new friends you always knew were out there and just hadn't yet met face to face, and your Squam experience begins.

The first afternoon is spent settling, reconnecting with friends and with yourself, and listening to all that space that is yours to dream in, to create in, to build in, to hear your own voice, and remember again, that you believe in that voice.

For me that first afternoon, was about solidifying some changes that I have been trying to make in my life. Changes about how I relate to my work, and how I see myself in relation to my work. The changes need to happen, and yet I have found myself going back to the old routine, the old ways of thinking, like a wheel rolling on a very rutted road. Time to try that other path and move off the old road.

And then it's time for dinner, and the evening and loons calling on the lake, and flashlights blinking in the woods, and a fire in the fireplace . . . 

And then you get up on thursday and you're off . . . classes, talking, thoughts, walking, laughing, learning, sharing stories, re-learning, eating, writing, some wine on an evening, more laughing, and so it goes and so it goes.

Before you know it, it is Sunday morning, and you are tired and happy, and sad, and saying good byes, and packing your things, and driving away. You are refreshed and renewed and remembering why you inhabit this body, at this time, in this place, and you remember who you truly are, you have re-met yourself, again, and it is wonderful and amazing and bittersweet and remarkable.

And as you drive away, you turn around just one more time to remember. Hold it close, know that you know exactly who you are, and come back to this moment again and again over the days and months to come. This time away in the woods at Squam is a talisman for your year ahead, for your life down the road, for all the moments that you might forget who you truly are: You have seen yourself, and you know.