Today is my grandmother's birthday. She hasn't been here with us for a long long time, but I think of her almost everyday, and most especially on her birthday, On my list of people who have inspired, influenced, encouraged and even dared me, she is at the top.
An artist, an inspired gardener, a writer, a reader, and a woman beyond her time. She was not encouraged to be independent, not encouraged to be an artist, or a traveller, she was encouraged to marry and have children, because that's what women did in her era. And she did that, and also painted, and designed gardens and organised reading groups with her friends, and lived a life that on the outside had little in the way of frills or accessories; but on the inside was rich with beauty and ideas, and deep thoughts.
on her honeymoon
As my grandmother though, she told me at a very early age that I could do anything, be anything, have and be a part of anything that I wanted to be. She told me I was special and unique. She encouraged my dreams and my hopes and my wishes for my life. She encouraged my independence and my sense of self. In effect, she gave me permission to be myself all the time, in a world where conformity is the safe and easy route.
with mum and uncle Johnny
My relationship with her was like an open door: it was like walking to and fro from room to room, while in the midst of a never ending conversation, punctuated with other characters entering and leaving, kind of like a one act play, that just keeps going and going. I think of her as my first role model for a generosity of spirit that I since have always looked for in friends, in business partners, in romantic partners, in life. And I think that if I had not had her my whole young life, I might never have known that that kind of spirit existed out in the world. Because truthfully, as we go through school, through jobs, through relationships, as we grow and change and move through our lives, those kindred souls, those open spirits, filled with kindness and generosity and support, and the purest kind of love and devotion, do not come along around any old corner. They are the rare and most gorgeous jewels in our lives, and we are always the luckiest for having found them, or for they having found us.
I like to think that she found me, that is still my young girl's daydream, I like to imagine that the first day she saw me, she knew who I was, she recognized me, and I her. I like to imagine she was my fairy godmother, not necessarily finding me the prince, but definitely turning my pumpkin into a carriage, and the mice into horses to take me anywhere I wanted to go.
She loved her life, though she did not get to live out many of her dreams, but she always said she got to live may of them through me. I still hear her voice in my head, her energy still vibrates in the universe, and she is still encouraging, me, inspiring me and daring me to do more, and ever more.
Happy Birthday to my best and most wonderful jewel, to the rarest gem I have ever known, my grandmother.
