I sometimes imagine that within our friendships/relationships/acquaintanceships we create rippled circles. We keep rippling out and at some point, as the ripple gets blurred, and blends together with all the other rippled circles out there, we are all rippling along together. The other image I have had in my head is that all these relationships are like skating on ice, and leaving the swirly trails that intersect and split off and intersect again with everyone elses swirly trails.
Maybe some where in between these two metaphors is where us people come into the mix. How we trail off of friendships .:. interests change, we move away, children come along, your best friend hates the guy you married, you know, any and all of the life changing events that happen with all of us.
And then, sometimes, somehow, time goes by and inexplicably we are back in touch, back in the groove, linked up with old friends, marrying your high school sweetheart at the age of 40 (no not me, but someone I know). We have all moved further along, our lives are different, circumstances are changed, it is like a brand new friendship/relationship but with all the history still there, ringing at the edges.
This week a friend passed away .:. not someone who was close in, but someone whose local business we had supported for years, and who was a part of our daily community. He was someone who was a part of our lives just about every morning, on our way to somewhere else in our day. His family had a memorial service today - a glorious sunny northern california late fall day - at the wonderful coffee place he and his wife own, in our old neighborhood.
I was standing out on the sidewalk (the place was packed with hundreds of people), listening to his wife speak about their life together, and acknowledging many of us personally, and I realised that we have known this family for almost 12 years, that we were on one of the very outer rings, just ever so gently rippling past each other, and yet, had certainly touched each others lives.
It made me think about all the people who have touched my life in some way or another.
For the friendships that have fallen away: a small wish that some of them would circle back around if the time is right. For the friendships who have circled back around: a heart-felt and cheerful hug to you all. For the relationships and friendships to come: I hope that we can create more and ever widening ripples of connection and friendship and relationship. Our connections with each other are so integral to the sacredness of our own humanity, and never more seen and felt, then when someone has suddenly left us.
Wow, this is a beautiful post, and your metaphors are spot on. All human beings we come into contact with - as friends, neighbors, strangers - have an impact on our lives, and I have come to believe that it is usually the tiniest of gestures that make the most difference. This is really lovely...thank you.
Posted by: Swirly | December 10, 2007 at 08:06 AM
i'm sorry i didn't comment about this post earlier...i meant to...i was thinking about this recently too...i started working with seniors a few months back...and have "lost" a few since they became my client...having heard their stories, gathered little bits about them, their history, their lives...i was thinking about how people are like books, too...we are all so very connected, and the stories that people tell, the lives that they lead - that we lead - it all becomes history, stories and memories...and i guess the lesson for me right now, in regards to all this, is really, really go after your dreams, really live your life, do what you want and enjoy your life while you are young and alive right now....life is a journey, not a destination, right? don't wait till too late to live!!!
hhhhmm. well, i'm sorry about the passing of this person so well regarded...to lose a good person, no matter what age...is always a sorrow. i just try to rejoice in the good even knowing them from afar, or just barely brought to me....
and its true too of growth, it takes you into different waters with different ripples...new chapters... new friends...
Posted by: Scarlett | December 15, 2007 at 03:01 PM
What a beautiful post. I never thought of friendships and acquaintances in this way, but now I will. It's so true.
Posted by: Monica Yvette | December 20, 2007 at 07:28 AM